Anonymous said: To that anon. I once told my therapist about how tumblr somehow relaxes me and I didn't know why, it just did. He said that the reason why tumblr relaxes some of us is because we see posts and think "ugh yes that is me" and we can relate to other people. And it feels good to know that our mind set is not alone. It also numbs our mind into forgetting whatever is going on in the moment and just reading and reblogging things to calm ourselves. & if that sounds triggering idk what I can do for you.
I replied:

^

28 notes \ 4:30 AM \ reblog
Anonymous said: that is just fuking bullshit. you're not even trying. U HAVE A DEPRESSION BLOG AND REBLOG AND POST DEPRESSING THINGS THAT MAKE YOU EVEN MORE DEPRESSED. if you really wanted to get better you'd stay away from anything that triggers you, you're obviously never going to recover if you post triggering pictures. most people i know with depression and other mental illnesses have healthy blogs, posts about positivity, not posts about wanting to kill yourself. shut up,
I replied:

You clearly don’t know what my blog does for me then. It’s a way of expressing myself. Seeing images that are “depressing” or whatever, does not, in any fucking way, trigger me. My blog is personal to me. Just because i reblog depression shit doesn’t mean that’s all i look at when i come on tumblr. I am following 4000+ people and my dashboard is extremely random and colourful. Before you decide to comment on my blog and how you “think” you know me, don’t. I have tried to recover for many years, it has gotten to the point where i no longer give a shit about recovering.

33 notes \ 4:11 AM \ reblog
Anonymous said: Hey why won't you try recovery? Not judging. Just wondering. Stay safe, okay?
I replied:

I’ve been trying to recover for years, all it takes it one thing to happen and i am right back to where i’ve started. I don’t even have the energy to try and recover anymore.

11 notes \ 12:09 AM \ reblog
my-teen-quote physically-alive-mentally-dead


If i were to die right now, nothing would change in the world. Time keeps moving forwards and people move on.

179 notes \ 2:43 AM \ reblog
Anonymous said: Are you going to do more videos on your YouTube channel? I really like them! :)
I replied:

Not at the moment, if my mood changes somehow then maybe. I thought i was numb before but right now, i honestly can’t feel anything, i am spaced out almost all of the time and just want to die. My life is pathetic and honestly, i couldn’t give a shit about recovery :/

4 notes \ 9:12 PM \ reblog


My parents want me to go on holiday with them and they are making me pick the place and everything as it may help my depression. I don’t even seem happy about going on holiday or doing anything anymore, all of my energy is gone and i just want to die… People would be jumping for joy to go on holiday and here’s me, just…. yeah.

35 notes \ 6:56 PM \ reblog
asking-the-death donut-makayla
extrasad donut-makayla
discolor3d donut-makayla
ventidinovembre donut-makayla
hardandhigh donut-makayla
insanitymixedwithreality lifes-an-enigma
discolor3d scarred-covered-wrists
rehazing fu-ck-0ff

Please check out the about page before you ask questions as i may have already answered it. http://www.jowduk.com/about

If you send any hate, don’t bother, i won’t reply to it, it will just get deleted.

I don’t reply to all of my anonymous asks as i get too many. I will however reply to all non-anonymous asks.

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