I honestly feel like nope’ing the fuck out of life right now.

107 notes \ 6:07 AM \ reblog

It was roughly around 5:30am, light from the sky was slowly coming through my blinds, i was half asleep when i noticed a solid black circle on my tilted wall, i slowly leaned up and tried to focus but it was too dark so i turned on a light, i honestly wish i didn’t… It was a huge spider, just a bit smaller than my hand (not including fingers), I left the room and just nope’d the fuck out of there, went downstairs and got a cup and something to cover the top of the cup with once i had caught it. When i came back into my room it wasn’t on the wall anymore.. (The wall is tilted up to the ceiling and goes over my bed), I started freaking out, not because it was a spider but because of the size of it. I have honestly never seen a spider that big before like holy shit, i thought i was dreaming. I looked on my bed and it was right where my chest would have been if i was still laying there.. I caught it in the cup and let it go outside as i’d rather not kill it, it’s done nothing wrong apart from making me question if i was dreaming. I still don’t know if i am dreaming or awake right now and because of that i cut my arm with a knife.. probably not the best idea but i think i’m awake right now. It just felt surreal. I had so many things going through my head and then that happened and, well, it’s fucked with my head. I’m not going to try and sleep, forcing myself to stay “awake” and just try and stay alive for today i guess as right now i would say that i’m in a rather bad state (not because of what happened, just everything).

29 notes \ 6:02 AM \ reblog

"Everyday tasks, such as breathing, become more difficult if you are depressed."

I can hear them, the voices, they won’t stop.

67 notes \ 5:01 AM \ reblog


Do you ever think how big the world is and how small you are and that you are only one of 7 billion people on this huge planet and only a handful of them will truly be remembered and leave a footprint in this world and you might be one of them, you might not

94 notes \ 9:20 PM \ reblog
dontletmewalkaway be-the-good-girl
sanna-minaord whymewhymewhymewhymewhyme
myprettylittleworldofdreams madefrom-brokenparts


having social anxiety is bad because you cant have any relationships with anyone without spending all of your time consumed with thoughts like “they all hate me, they all laugh at me, they all think i’m annoying, everyone hates me and they don’t care about me at all”

so don’t fucking go around acting like having anxiety in social situations is cool because its not and it fucking sucks 

141,607 notes \ 1:05 AM \ reblog
somewhereineverland shespefectlyimperfectt

Guess i am going on holiday with my parents then. I will try and be happy about it as fuck, i’m going on holiday, it’s just i feel so shit at the moment i don’t really think anything can change my mood :[

16 notes \ 5:14 PM \ reblog
tumblr.com suicidal-unicorn

That’s what really scares me.

Falling in love is easy. Having sex is easier. But bumping into someone that can spark your soul - that shit is rare.

You could fuck four, five, all the people in a god damned room and you’d only feel a connection with one. Or none at all.

And what sucks is despite the undeniable real magnetic pull between the two of you, more often than not, you don’t end up together.

I’m afraid I won’t meet anyone else I can connect with.

I’m scared it’ll be just you.

Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | Connection  (via 09994)
90,891 notes \ 5:10 PM \ reblog
surfandwrite chill--outt--slutt
raspberrymilk covered-in-bandaids
Anonymous said: Do you need someone who you can talk to?
I replied:

I don’t mind but i’m not asking for it. People are always there, even if i think that there is no one to talk to, there is always someone. That is also to everyone who is going through some shit times, you are not alone.

6 notes \ 4:09 AM \ reblog

Please check out the about page before you ask questions as i may have already answered it. http://www.jowduk.com/about

If you send any hate, don’t bother, i won’t reply to it, it will just get deleted.

I don’t reply to all of my anonymous asks as i get too many. I will however reply to all non-anonymous asks.