I honestly feel like nope’ing the fuck out of life right now.
It was roughly around 5:30am, light from the sky was slowly coming through my blinds, i was half asleep when i noticed a solid black circle on my tilted wall, i slowly leaned up and tried to focus but it was too dark so i turned on a light, i honestly wish i didn’t… It was a huge spider, just a bit smaller than my hand (not including fingers), I left the room and just nope’d the fuck out of there, went downstairs and got a cup and something to cover the top of the cup with once i had caught it. When i came back into my room it wasn’t on the wall anymore.. (The wall is tilted up to the ceiling and goes over my bed), I started freaking out, not because it was a spider but because of the size of it. I have honestly never seen a spider that big before like holy shit, i thought i was dreaming. I looked on my bed and it was right where my chest would have been if i was still laying there.. I caught it in the cup and let it go outside as i’d rather not kill it, it’s done nothing wrong apart from making me question if i was dreaming. I still don’t know if i am dreaming or awake right now and because of that i cut my arm with a knife.. probably not the best idea but i think i’m awake right now. It just felt surreal. I had so many things going through my head and then that happened and, well, it’s fucked with my head. I’m not going to try and sleep, forcing myself to stay “awake” and just try and stay alive for today i guess as right now i would say that i’m in a rather bad state (not because of what happened, just everything).